User Profile

well, for short, my life sucks. I hate myself most of the time, and every once and a while, when I catch a glimpse of some happiness, some peace of mind, it's squashed by time... it lasts but only a couple of seconds until I fall back into the whirling pit of eating disorders, s.i., depression... all over again. I guess I should be happy. I have a great life by some standards; family that's all together, parents/ siblings who love me, a couple of friends, I am a Christian and know Christ as my personal Lord and Savior, but here I am on a rabbit trail of my own. I know I should be living for him, but sometimes, I'm just too ashamed to talk to him because I know all theh aweful stuff taht I've been doing.
I hope this site helps me to sort some of this out for myself. I just want to know how far I can go. I want someone to notice that I'm hurting, and care. It seems like no one cares. Everyone thinks I'm a perfect little angel, but they don't KNOW me. They never stop to think that I might have problems too. They just expect me to deal with everything ono my own. and THAT is what's driving me over the edge.